May 27, 2005
Dating in High School
(Filed under: When I Was Your Age...)When I was your age I dated a cheerleader. And a band geek. And a multi-sport she-jock. All at different times, thank you. In all I spent more than half my high school career dating, which is pretty astounding considering my geek status.
I liked girls.
Not one of those girls ended up being the one I married. I don’t even talk to any of those girls today. But when I was your age I found a certain fulfillment in dating. I was good at it. I bought flowers and talked on the phone and played the role. At times you’d think I had to date somebody. When I wasn’t dating I was eyeing up the possibilities, trying to figure out if I liked someone, or if they liked me, or some such nonsense.
Dating in high school is funny. It seems like the most important thing in the world. It seems larger than life. It’s not. I didn’t know anything about relationships in high school. I just knew I liked the squishy feeling I got holding a girl’s hand or—gasp—kissing her. I liked knowing someone liked me. To quote an old country song, "I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I love you to love me." In essence it was all a bit selfish.
Since then I’ve learned that relationships actually hard. It takes a lot of work—painful, time consuming, difficult work. If a relationship is going to last, you can’t just hang up the towel and walk away. Most importantly, you need to know yourself. You need to know what you want and need, and how that meshes with someone else. It doesn’t necessarily mean you look for someone just like you. My wife and I are complete opposites in some ways—the important thing was to learn how we were different and deal with it.
Dating is awkward. It’s goofy. It’s strange. And it can be fun. But not always. I don’t want to tell anyone not to date (though your parents may wish I did), but there’s wise counsel in that. Keeping the opposite sex at arm’s length isn’t the greatest either, but being cautious and taking your time before jumping into a relationship is a good thing. Hearts are easily broken and poorly mended. You can make a lot of dumb mistakes dating in high school—though sometimes we need to learn through mistakes. Just be sure to keep your head.
Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at May 27, 2005 01:37 PM
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